While facilitating our virtual Let Them Theory book group, the topic of friendship came up.
One of our members mentioned that she doesn’t have a hard time meeting or talking with new people, however, she struggles with inviting them into her home.
She shared…
“It just feels like too much of a risk.“
This was such an incredible awareness, and caused all of us to feel it.
As we worked through this idea, it ultimately came down to one main thing…
The fear of being judged.
I think we’ve all been there, especially as we get older.
We want friends so badly…
But we feel the need to “earn” them.
I want to paint a different perspective for you.
Mel Robbins touches on this in her book on dating relationships…
But I want to apply it to meeting and acquiring new friends.
What if… we started looking at each potential connection as more of a learning experience?
One in which each time we allow a new person in…
We take note of what we want in a friend…
And what we don’t.
If you are someone who keeps a more laid back home, allows the house to look lived-in, keeps dishes in the sink, and houses piles of laundry in various corners…
Someone who values a catalog-worthy, pristine, and well-organized home may not be your new bff.
And as difficult as that may be to accept, it’s a valuable note to make.
As we get older…
And responsibilities add up…
It’s crucial to get choosy with the people who will occupy our time and mind.
Personally, I’ve come to realize that in my own life…
If I’m going to spend time away from my home, kids, and family…
I want it to be worth it!
I want the people to fill me up…
I want my nervous system to be calmed…
And I want to return home feeling rejuvenated…
Not emotionally drained and exhausted.
We get to decide what we want in a friend, and who deserves our time and energy.
I’ve also learned that not everyone has to be my best friend…
And same goes for you.
A great way to keep track of what you do and don’t want when it comes to friendships…
Is to create a legit list of the qualities you desire in a friend…
And to decide you won’t accept anything less.
This doesn’t mean you’re rude or brush people off…
It just means you know what you want…
And you choose to honor your values.
Positive connections are one of the key factors in living a good life!
Taking that in…
I encourage you to put yourself out there, “take the risk”, and with each and every encounter, allow that to be a lesson of what you want, and what you don’t, when it comes to friendship.
Do this for a while…
And you’ll find yourself surrounded by the most beautiful tribe.
Believing in us, always.
