Author: Laurel Valdez

I am a dual-certified life and health coach, teacher by degree, wife to my high school sweet heart, and mom of three kiddos. As a coach, my primary focus is on helping others uncover joy and happiness in their lives. I am also a passionate writer, and attempt to encourage us all to "Thrive and Shine" a little brighter with my blog posts which are released every Sunday. It is my belief that we are all here on this earth to connect and ENJOY this life we live. I'm so glad you're here! :)

When The Seasons of Life Have Different Plans

Laurel Valdez

When my kids were little…

I was under this impression that once they were all in elementary school…

It would be my time to take on a grand new venture.

I had this idea that I’d be less needed…

And would therefore shift my attention and focus elsewhere.

Although it was never my intention to be a stay-at-home mom…

I have never for a second taken for granted what a privilege it has been to have been present for so many incredible moments and milestones.

Simultaneously, however, I’ve always felt my ultimate purpose was deeper than simply mommin’ and taking care of a home.

Teaching, writing, and coaching are huge passions for me.

I’ve always loved providing hope for others, helping them see what they’re capable of accomplishing, and expressing my thoughts in the written word.

For the past two years, I have focused most of my energy on just that.

Others.

Life, however, is never predictable, and recently…

As exhaustion was hitting hard, and I just felt unaligned…

I took a moment to pause, tune in, and listen.

Although the realization wasn’t exactly what I wanted to accept…

I had to admit that although business was picking up, and I was making so many wonderful connections…

I had these kiddos at home, who even though, are no longer babies…

Were needing their mama more than ever.

Who knew, by the way…

That the preteen and middle school years…

Would require mom more than the baby ones!? 😉

While I’ve been spinning my wheels on all the ways I can help others…

All the ways I can teach and comfort and encourage…

I have had individuals in my own home space… right in front of me…

Ones in which I brought into this world…

Who have been desiring those exact needs.

I have to tell you…

It’s quite an interesting feeling to believe you’re meant for something so much bigger…

While simultaneously knowing you’re just where you need to be.

Once I accepted the truth of this…

And stopped trying to fight the balance that wasn’t balancing…

I’ve felt more aligned than I have in a long time.

I feel closer to my kids…

I feel more comfort in my home…

I find myself connecting more with others who are experiencing similar seasons…

And I find the right people being drawn to me. Whether as a client, friend, or both.

Life is interesting, and our bodies are so wise.

I have learned over the years that when I’m tired…

And things feel harder than usual… harder than they should…

There is always a reason, and those feelings shouldn’t be ignored.

While my 1:1 coaching, Thrive Tribe Community, and book groups will continue…

I have had to accept that it’s not my time to be filling my nights and weekends with events.

And that’s OK!

We never know how our education, knowledge, and experience will be utilized.

And it’s everchanging.

But in this season of life…

My teaching degrees…

My health and life coach certifications…

And alllllll my life experiences thus far…

And oh boy, have there been many!…

Are being shared within my home, and with my family.

And how beautiful that is.

Believing in us, always.

Short & Sweet

Laurel Valdez

My Beautiful Readers…

Those of us in the midwest have officially entered the “fall feels”.

Cooler temps, shorter days, and the changing of colors.

Spiritually speaking, transitioning from summer to fall allows us to harvest what we’ve sowed over the past year, shed what no longer serves us, and prepare for rest.

Friends…

I have truly been here for this transition of the seasons.

As a goer and a doer, I always value the time where we’re semi-forced to slow down a bit.

To reflect, to be thankful, and to chill.

This is a great time in the year to think ahead on what you want to prioritize in the next few months.

Do you want to rest?

Do you want to learn something new?

Maybe it’s a good time to get creative?

Make the time now to decide what your body, mind, and soul desires…

And plan for that!

Where our attention goes… energy flows.

So focus wisely.

Believing in us, always.

Are You Having Any Fun?

Laurel Valdez

From birth to 16, I lived in a townhouse in a cul-de-sac.

Any kid in that cul-de-sac was a friend.

No matter the age, gender, or race…

We all had THE MOST fun together… riding bikes, “selling cheese” (I mean, what?!), playing Ghost in the Graveyard and kickball, Nintendo… 

I remember one instance where we were all at one kid’s house…

And for whatever reason…

We asked him, “Bob, are you Christian or Jewish?”…

His response…

“I’m neither. I’m Bob!” 🙂

We didn’t even care about that stuff…

Because we got together, and felt immense comfort and joy with each other…

Being silly and having fun.

Somewhere along the way into adulthood…

We start taking things too seriously… 

And we forget how to have fun.

But ya know what?!

Fun, scientifically, has physical health benefits!!! 

And that’s why it’s so important to PLAN to have fun.

One of the sessions I do with clients includes incorporating more fun and joy into their lives…

And what’s SO very interesting, is we actually go back in time to being a kid…

Where we think about what brought them joy then…

And guess what?!

It’s pretty much the same now!

We just don’t do it.

If you’re an adult, and like the majority of the people today…

YOU NEED to rediscover what it means to have fun…

AND… you need to put it into practice ASAP!

And this isn’t just me, SCIENCE, agrees! 🙂

I encourage us all to reconnect with this today/this week!

Now, there are multiple ways you could go about doing this…

But I recommend simply starting with reflecting on your childhood.

Think about the friends you enjoyed being with and why.

What types of games did you enjoy?

Were you more into the pranks, the active games, intellectual conversations, or a combo?!

Think of activities you did throughout the years that gave you a sense of joy and belonging.

Write all of these down, and brainstorm how you can bring some of them into today… tomorrow… and onward.

One thing that is super easy, and I know MANY people love…

But tend to forget about…

Is music.

Music is powerful.

And it has a way of bringing you to a happy place.

Personally, I love listening to music from 1996… 

Because this brings me back to summers at the pool with friends…

When times were simple and carefree…

And I can’t help but just feel an overwhelming sense of joy and comfort when I listen.

If you do this… if you take 15-20 minutes to reflect on what once brought you joy, and incorporate ONE thing into today and this week…

I guarantee you…

You will not only FEEL happier this week…

But you’ll also be doing something good for your physical being…

And everyone around you.

Believing in us, always.

The Power of Authenticity!

Laurel Valdez

Last week, I was listening to a Mel Robbins podcast where she interviewed Dr. Todd Rose, author of Collective Illusions and co-founder and CEO of the think tank Populace.

In this episode, Dr. Todd shared about a study that was conducted in 2009 in the Netherlands, where participants were connected to an fMRI (neuroimaging technique that measures brain activity), and participants were shown a couple hundred photos of people in which they were asked to rate based on their appearance; 1 being not very attractive, 5 being extremely attractive.

Immediately after participants would rate the individual, they would be shown a score of what “the average” rated that previous person.

These ratings were made up, and never happened.

Half of the time, people were in alignment, however; the other half, the score was a point or two different.

At the end of the study, the participants were told the scanner didn’t catch their answers, and were asked if they could quickly run through again, verbally.

Even with reordered photos…

The majority of people ended up changing their ratings the second time around.

I find this study fascinating, because it so powerfully suggests our need to conform…

Our need to belong.

How easily and quickly our thoughts and opinions shift, to be in alignment with others.

And the reason…

Aligning with a particular group triggers an award signal in our brain. 

It’s the same signal given off by hard drugs!

On the contrary… 

Not being in alignment, triggers an error signal in the brain…

Which disrupts memory and attention!

Dr. Todd went on to explain the idea of “Collective Illusions”…

And how as a society…

We continue to go along with “group think”…

Because WE THINK it’s what everyone wants…

When in reality… it’s not!!!

Get this!…

Based on research…

ONE QUARTER of what we see and take in on social media…

Are bots!

And yet, we take it to be true!!!

Friends…

Let me ask you…

If you really get honest with yourself?

When’s the last time you were truly authentic?

When you took a moment to stop doom scrolling…

Took a step back…

Took a breath…

And reminded yourself of your deepest core values and beliefs – “group think” aside?

Dr. Todd explained how incredibly important it is to be authentic and true to ourselves…

And the power and impact of authenticity.

It’s not only intrinsically rewarding…

But it gives off that same powerful reward signal in the brain…

It encourages OTHERS to live in their own authenticity.

And You Guys…

If you really want to be happier?!

Work on that authenticity!

Happiness, is in fact, contagious!

And it comes from being true to who you are!

As Dr. Todd confidently presents, “microchanges” matter.

And his challenge for us all was to do one small act… 

That would bring you closer to your authentic self.

So what does that look like for you!?

Is it saying no thank you to an alcohol beverage if you committed to not drinking during the week?

Speaking up about a restaurant choice if you truly dislike where everyone is going?

Proudly proclaming you do not like “Taco Tuesday”!?

I encourage you to commit to ONE SMALL CHANGE this week… 

That will get you closer to your authentic self.

One week from now, reflect on the experience, and make note of how you feel.

Believing in us, always.

Who Are You Becoming?

Laurel Valdez

A couple weeks ago…

I tuned in to listen to a sermon from one of the pastors at our church back in Houston.

Considering the times we’re living in… 

I was very curious to hear how they were addressing truly difficult topics.

Now, it was a wonderful sermon, and I’d be happy to share with anyone who wanted to hear it…

However, religion aside… 

The thing that stuck with me the most was the question Pastor Sean asked… 

Who are you becoming?

Times are heavy, there is no doubt.

Feelings, emotions, and opinions are at an all time high.

And ya know what… they’re valid.

The question however…

Is what are we doing with those feelings, emotions, and opinions?

What are you hoping to accomplish by the reactions you’re experiencing…

And the actions you’re taking?

Who are you becoming?

This question caused me to do quite a bit of self-reflection. 

A lot of which took me back to my core values and beliefs as a person… as a human. 

A human who fully believes we are here to connect with other humans…

And that our health and wellbeing depends on those connections!

It encouraged me to ask…

Is who I’m becoming allowing those core values and beliefs to be seen from the outside? 

The thing is…

From my lived experience…

I have never ever EVER regretted leading with kindness, listening to others, truly seeing and hearing people, or attempting to clear up misunderstandings or confusions.

I also want to point out…

Doing these things doesn’t necessarily mean we’re suddenly going to change our mind, beliefs, or perspectives… 

But it does show respect for others’ beliefs and perspectives…

For others’ lived experiences…

And this is huge, You Guys!

We don’t have to be best friends with everyone we meet, and we don’t have to agree with everything everyone says and does…

But man, would it be beautiful if we could allow space for real conversations…

And truly see each other as we all are… 

Perfectly, imperfect humans. 

I’ve been taking in many lived experiences these past couple weeks…

And some experiences and stories truly break my heart…

From all ends of the spectrum!

I just felt compelled to send out a reminder today… 

That kindness provides hope.

Apologies and forgivenss… they heal.

Respect changes lives.

Leading with love… 

It matters.

Please, don’t lose sight of that.

I’ll leave you with this…

“No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side of things.” ~ incrediblejoy.com

As heavy as your heart and soul may feel…

I encourage you to choose to dig deep within…

Recover your light…

And shine it bright.

Believing in us, always.

Seeing Privilege in “The Busy”

Laurel Valdez

Lately, life has been busy!

I’ve been juggling three kiddos in two different schools, biz is picking back up with the end of summer, PTO is in full swing, after school activities and kids’ birthday parties keep our schedule full, and sprinkle in other outings and commitments with friends and family.

At times, it feels like I never get a break.

But then alas… quotes like these appear on my social…

“What a privilege to be tired from work you once prayed for. What a privilege to feel overwhelmed by growth you used to dream about. What a privilege to be challenged by a life you created on purpose. What a privilege to outgrow things you used to settle for.”

~ @entrepreneurshipfacts

THIS really hit home for me.

YES, I DO think we need to factor in time for rest.

Absolutely.

But these kids I once prayed for, I have… and I am grateful.

The business I dreamt of creating is here and happening… and I’m proud of what it’s becoming.

Being a part of a group that allows me to see my kids’ regularly throughout the school day and know their teachers and staff fills my cup.

Having others to visit and places to go… brings me joy and fulfillment.

So yes, even though it all seems like a little much sometimes, seeing it as a privilege truly does shift the perspective a bit.

What about you?

What in your life tends to feel draining, yet is something you once hoped for?

What tends to exhaust you…

Yet also gives you a sense of purpose?

What upcoming plans do you have that you truly wish you hadn’t committed to…

But you know those connections and experiences give you a sense of belonging?

Try shifting the perspective…

Schedule in some time for rest…

And see how different this upcoming week can look and feel for you.

Believing in us, always.

This Is It

Laurel Valdez

When I was a kid, I loved listening to Delilah on the radio.

I was a new driver in high school when I heard her say something along the lines of this:

Everyone’s always waiting for SOMETHING to finally be happy. Once I graduate college, THEN I’ll be happy. Once I pass this test, THEN I’ll be happy. Once I get married, THEN I’ll be happy. Once I get pregnant, THEN I’ll be happy. Once my kids are older, THEN I’ll be happy.

As a 16 year old, those words changed my perspective on how I chose to live my life…and have resonated in my mind repeatedly any and every time I have similar thoughts.

The entire point Delilah was trying to make here… 

Is the fact that we’ll never be satisfied in life if we keep waiting for things to be over to be content.

There will always be something new we take on.

New challenges, new life experiences, and some… may not have even been in our plans.

I hear it often as a coach and friend.

People believe that once their current stresses are over, they’ll be able to “relax”.

I’m very honest in saying…

NOT REALLY! 😉

There will always be something new to figure out.

So what’s my point!?

We have to learn to live and enjoy our life NOW… not “WHEN”.

THIS IS IT!

THIS is your life.

And it’s happening to you… right now.

Every day that you wait for things to pass…

It’s just another day you’ll never get back.

And yes, don’t get me wrong…

The tedious tasks and driving kids to and from activities can become a lot…

And sure, not always “fun”.

But it is my belief that not everything has to be “fun” to have purpose and meaning.

Use those boring tasks and driving opportunities to bond with your kids…

Or send kind thoughts or prayers to loved ones while you do dishes or fold laundry.

Maybe you are going through a rough time, and you DO believe you’ll be happier when it’s over..

That’s fair, and valid…

But also consider how you can enjoy life NOW, even still.

Days, weeks, months, and years FLY by. ESPECIALLY as we get older.

And I have noticed that many people around my age – midlife –  are in the season of “the big rush”…

We’re all just focused on rushing to the next thing and checking things off the list…

But are we connecting with our kids and/or those around us?

Are we making memories?

Are we leaving an impact?

Are we having tough conversations?

Are we taking time to ask questions and allow others to feel seen and heard?

Are we remaining kind, even in our busy and clouded states of mind?

These things matter…

And they don’t need to be set on the back burner until whenever “THEN” arrives.

Living in the present can be very hard…

Especially if we’re not used to doing it.

But I challenge you to practice it this week.

Start with catching yourself and noticing when you do look forward to something ending to enjoy life.

Make a mental note to acknowledge a quality moment with a friend or loved one…

Give those hugs…

And have those chats.

Your life is happening now.

And it’s ready for you to LIVE it.

Believing in us, always.

Prioritize Yourself!

Laurel Valdez

For nearly 12 years, I have focused the majority of my time and energy on my kids.

Sure, Dan and I will go on dinner dates from time to time, but unless a grandparent is visiting, we’re always home in time for bed…

Until August 30th.

As ridiculous as this sounds, that particular Saturday felt magical to me.

Heading downtown Chicago with friends…

Late at night…

To spend the evening letting loose and seeing The Lumineers.

Truly euphoric feels.

Music is my love language.

Since a young age, it has touched my heart and soul.

To be so fully immersed for the first time in years reminded me of who I am – mom aside.

So I’m curious…

When’s the last time you did something solely for you?

Something that allowed a magical wave of calm and joy to wash over you?

When’s the last time you prioritized your significant other? Went away with friends? Or did something without your kids?

Being a mom is such a beautiful privilege….

I love my kids deeply…

And…

In order to fill them with love and light, I have to be full of it myself.

My Friends, this concert fueled me up.

If you’ve been feeling down, bored, lonely, or just plain blah…

Think up what once brought you immense joy, and plan for that!

Put it on the calendar.

We plan for so much as parents, but we often forget to plan for ourselves.

It may be hard to imagine now…

But one day…

Our kids will be out and on their own.

And we’ll have to figure out life without them.

Start now!

Get curious, uncover your passions and desires, and prepare for your future!

We do it for our kids…

And we’d be wise to also do it for ourselves.

Believing in us, always.

Lessons in Perspective

Laurel Valdez

Yesterday, while at a good friend’s birthday party…

My middle little and I sat down with a couple other mamas and started chatting.

When moving back from Houston came up, one of the moms asked about how we liked it.

I talked about how it grew on me over the years… but was hot…tends to flood a lot.

My Eva… 

She went down memory lane!

“Remember in Houston we had a fenced in yard? It was huge!”

I always thought it to be quite small.

“And my brother and I, we used to have these pools… and we’d fill them so high they’d be up to my neck!”

They were clear plastic bins from the container store.

“And we’d play music, and blast it so loud!… and we’d throw water balloons as hard as we could along the fence, and they’d SPLASH EVERYWHERE!”

I honestly did that simply to buy some time as I’d clean up and get dinner ready.

While actively listening to my beautiful child… 

One of the mamas noted that E has a great memory… and really positive memories as well.

I found this entire moment beautiful and eye-opening on many levels.

For one, thinking back on those times… I was so tired.

Yes, there were many moments I enjoyed hearing happy giggles and took a second to smile at their joy and happiness… but very rarely did I pause to just sit, watch, and take it all in.

I also always felt the need to be going!… 

Taking the kiddos all over the place!… 

I often still do.

But as you can see, based on E’s retelling of her 3s and 4s… 

She wasn’t mentioning the multiple trips to the children’s museum or the zoo…

She was admiring our relatively tiny yard, clear plastic bins of water, music, and balloons.

THESE are the moments that stuck with her and make her smile today.

On the flip side, this wonderful mama!…

Actively listening and asking questions.

I didn’t realize it until that moment, but very rarely… 

Especially when other adults are around… AND our own kiddos… 

Do we stop to give other kids our full, undivided attention…

And allow them to be seen and heard.

Beautiful memories are one thing…

But as a 9 year old…

To share, and be seen and heard in the midst of a busy party…

Now THAT is something! 

And E’s reactive smile to this kind mama’s words was proof she agreed.

This beautiful encounter gave me two new focuses this week…

  1. I want to focus on the simple. The tiny, fleeting moments that provide true connection, belly laughs, and smiles.
  2. I want to continue focusing on these young kids. It’s more important today than ever before that they understand how to connect, communicate, and feel seen and heard.

The thing is… these two things are so basic… 

But they’re not easy.

Our busy lives make it incredibly hard to justify prioritizing connection and conversation.

But let’s be honest…

Those two things… ESPECIALLY when it comes to these beautiful young kiddos…

Are of utmost importance!

And truth be told…

The days may seem long…

But man, are these years short! 

Believing in us, always! 

Reflect.Rethink.Refresh.

Laurel Valdez

Every August, as a new school year begins…

I always use this time to reflect on my own life, and take it as an opportunity for a refresh…

A “new beginning”.

For me, as a business owner, I have big goals this school year.

I plan to reach more people, plan more events that are powerful and impactful…

Lead more book groups…

And take on more 1:1 clients.

That being said, I am the type of human who desires to see it all come to fruition now.

Anyone else!?

As I was going through my work bag this past week…

I came across a quote I wrote down a couple years ago while listening to an Eddie Pinero podcast…

“Stop looking up at the mountain, and look down at the very next step.”

How fitting and timely, huh?!

Now, whether you’re in the midst of an entrepreneurship journey or simply life…

I feel compelled to remind us all that as much as we desire the end result…

Truly… as corny as this sounds…

It really is all about the journey.

Each little new idea, each win…

They all ignite a fire within us that keeps us excited and living.

Without those little sparks…

Those jolts of hope…

We tend to get stuck.

In addition…

We need to have a plan…

And we need to have a “why”.

That being said… I wanted to provide some questions here that I use not only with 1:1 clients to help ignite desire for their season of life… but for myself as well!

You can simply think through them…

Or better yet…

You can get out a pen and paper, and jot down your answers.

Never underestimate the power of getting serious about what you want!

1. If you could snap your fingers, and get whatever you wanted in the next 90 days, what would that look like for you?

2. Let’s say these 90 days have passed, and you have _______, ______, and ______. What do you see, and how do you feel?

3. And how would this make a difference in your life, and in the lives of other important people in your life, if you got this outcome?

These few questions will get the juices flowing.

And you may even choose to keep journaling, brain dumping, or making note of what comes to mind.

These tiny exercises are crucial to keeping us focused and impactful in our day to day lives.

So I strongly encourage you to sit down, and give this little exercise a try.

And if you feel compelled to share…

Feel free to comment to this post, or send me a message or email at laurelvcoaching@gmail.com. 

Believing in us, always.