Author: Laurel Valdez

Every August, as a new school year begins…

I always use this time to reflect on my own life, and take it as an opportunity for a refresh…

A “new beginning”.

For me, as a business owner, I have big goals this school year.

I plan to reach more people, plan more events that are powerful and impactful…

Lead more book groups…

And take on more 1:1 clients.

That being said, I am the type of human who desires to see it all come to fruition now.

Anyone else!?

As I was going through my work bag this past week…

I came across a quote I wrote down a couple years ago while listening to an Eddie Pinero podcast…

“Stop looking up at the mountain, and look down at the very next step.”

How fitting and timely, huh?!

Now, whether you’re in the midst of an entrepreneurship journey or simply life…

I feel compelled to remind us all that as much as we desire the end result…

Truly… as corny as this sounds…

It really is all about the journey.

Each little new idea, each win…

They all ignite a fire within us that keeps us excited and living.

Without those little sparks…

Those jolts of hope…

We tend to get stuck.

In addition…

We need to have a plan…

And we need to have a “why”.

That being said… I wanted to provide some questions here that I use not only with 1:1 clients to help ignite desire for their season of life… but for myself as well!

You can simply think through them…

Or better yet…

You can get out a pen and paper, and jot down your answers.

Never underestimate the power of getting serious about what you want!

1. If you could snap your fingers, and get whatever you wanted in the next 90 days, what would that look like for you?

2. Let’s say these 90 days have passed, and you have _______, ______, and ______. What do you see, and how do you feel?

3. And how would this make a difference in your life, and in the lives of other important people in your life, if you got this outcome?

These few questions will get the juices flowing.

And you may even choose to keep journaling, brain dumping, or making note of what comes to mind.

These tiny exercises are crucial to keeping us focused and impactful in our day to day lives.

So I strongly encourage you to sit down, and give this little exercise a try.

And if you feel compelled to share…

Feel free to comment to this post, or send me a message or email at laurelvcoaching@gmail.com. 

Believing in us, always. 

As far as summer breaks go…

Never have we ever experienced one that flew by so.freaking.fast.

I truly feel like we JUST got on break (my kids do, too ;))…

But alas, in two days… they return.

This summer was bittersweet for me.

It was different from summers of the past.

G was a bit more independent as he’s heading into middle school…

E was focused on friends…

And even my smallest was a bit more free and friend-driven.

Whereas summers of the past had us booked to the brim daily with outings and adventures as the 4 of us…

This summer had my kids wanting more laid back down time and friends joining along the way.

As beautiful as this is…

I feel the transition deeply.

I have had to accept that my “babies” are no longer babies.

My kids are getting to the point where they don’t need their mom to entertain them 24-7.

They still enjoy it…

But, there is definitely a shift.

And I’ve had to work on embracing this new season with them.

Although it’s natural to feel a bit emotional during shifts and changes…

I’ve chosen to fall more into the gratitude bracket.

I’m so very thankful my kids WANT to socialize.

I’m appreciative that they love sharing their stories and ideas with me.

I value each and every deep conversation…

Which happens to be mostly at bedtime. 😉

I savor more than ever the “I love you, Mom”…

And the snuggles and hugs.

I have to smile at the idea of once believing as our kids get older…

They need us less.

They may not need to be fed, changed, and regularly monitored…

But I have found that more than ever…

They need to know I’m there for them.

So Friends…

Those of you with kiddos in this transition…

Going from littles to bigs…

Entering the world where they realize not everything is butterflies and rainbows…

And noticing there is bad with the good…

I encourage you to lean in more than ever…

Be thankful and grateful for the work you’ve done as the parent to lead you up to this point…

And remind yourself to simultanteously allow your kids to experience the world for themselves…

While also allowing them to know you are always there for them…

Whenever desired.

We’ve got this, Parents! 🙂

Believing in us, always.

The summer before my senior year of high school…

We moved an hour from where I grew up.

Seeing as though it was my final year with friends I’d been with forever, the last thing I wanted to do was change schools.

And so I used my dad’s address, and committed to finishing where I started.

As thankful as I was to be able to do this, that was one of the busiest and trying times of my life!

This decision required me to wake up at 4:30am on school days, drive an hour + through all kinds of Chicago burbs weather, complete a typical day of HS… including some before and after school practices for show choir and other performances… work at a daycare after school, followed by an hour + drive home… where I’d quickly eat something… GO TO THE GYM TO WORKOUT!!!, come home to do my HW, and maybe get in 5-6 hours of sleep, if lucky, before doing it all again.

I look back at that time, and am in awe of just how much I committed to.

And I couldn’t help but ask myself…

Why?!

The reason…

Because it was important to me!

It was comfort, friends, teaching, and health.

Everything I committed to held great meaning.

And it was worth every second of the effort.

This past weekend, I spent some time with my kiddos and family in the town I moved to during my senior year of HS…

The town I barey remember living in…

Because I was hardly there.

I was amazed at how in awe of this city I’ve become…

Now that I’m no longer 18… and a kid.

I found myself admiring the trees, the people, the beautiful farm lands, the fair, and the farmer’s market.

I sat back and thoroughly enjoyed kicking off my flip flops as I planted myself in the grass, took in some folk music, watched the kiddos play, and sipped my iced coffee.

I truly felt blissfully content… 

Why?

Because what is meaningful to me has shifted in the last 20 years.

What this small town charm provides me now…

It just wasn’t important to me when I was 18.

But it’s immensely important to me now.

I share this to say…

The things that are meaningful to us in life will shift.

It all depends on our age, and season of life.

However…

Core values typically remain rather intact.

I still continue to love people… and music… and beautiful memory-making moments.

I don’t take for granted spending time with those I love.

I still find myself quickly agreeing to drive miles in order to have a good time.

I encourage you to reflect on what is currently meaningful to you.

What meanings have shifted?

What core values seem to have remained intact?

Lean into those core values.

They truly are eye-opening…

And have the potential to make your life exponentially better when you honor them.

Believing in us, always!

This week, a family member unexpectedly passed away.

This makes the third person, under the age of 50, to unexpectedly pass away in the past three months.

Death is such a crazy occurrence…

It’s the one thing that happens to all of us… eventually…

But everytime it happens, it does something to those of us who remain.

It reminds us that we’re not immortal…

And that death can take any of us… any day.

We all believe we’re the exception when it comes to death.

That sure, it will happen one day, but way down the road.

It’s hard to accept it could happen to any of us, at any moment.

So we keep on with our robotic days…

Checking things off the endless to-do list…

Holding onto grudges with friends, family, and loved ones…

Ignoring our kids as we spend hours scrolling the phone…

Neglecting to take care of our minds and bodies… 

Always thinking…

One day, I’ll do better.

Friends…

The entire point of THIS blog entry… 

Is to strongly encourage you to DECIDE to do better NOW.

No day is promised.

And man…

Have I been so unfortunately reminded of this time and time again over the past several years.

Please allow this to be your reminder!…

To be present…

Get curious.

Ask questions…

Admire the beauty around you, in every moment.

Be grateful.

Be kind.

We cannot control when our time will come…

But we can control what we choose to do with the time we have left on this earth.

My wish for us all today…

Is that we choose wisely…

And that we end each day feeling proud of the hours we’ve just experienced.

Believing in us, always.

Alcohol.

Let’s talk about it.

For the past two years, I’ve found myself being extremely sober curious…

Meaning, I’ve been becoming more aware of my relationship with alcohol…

Why I drink…

When I drink…

And how it makes me feel.

Oh yeah, it’s been fun. 😉

I can’t exactly pinpoint when this all happened, but I suddenly found myself one day listening to sober podcasts, following sober advocates on Instagram, and taking occasional breaks from alcohol myself.

Because drinking has never been my “vice”…

I honestly felt SILLY feeling such guilt around it, especially when it’s promoted everywhere, for every occasion, for all the “guarenteed” fun!

But when just a couple beverages started gifting me guaranteed anxiety, and had me feeling less than who I authentically am and aspire to be… I felt compelled to dig in! 

Now, although I still partake, I feel proud to say that my sober curiosity has led me to some great realizations that I’d love to share with you.

For starters, and what I believe to be a huge and very important realization, is that if I need a drink to have fun, the event and/or company may not be for me!

Yes, hard to accept… but so true.

Secondly, all the things that are good for me and I love doing are far more enjoyable and effective with minimal alcohol; food choices, exercise, being a present and patient mama/wife/friend, coaching, and writing.

Lastly… no hangovers are topnotch (and sadly, these days… it doesn’t take much for one)! 

I’ve also noted when I truly enjoy a beverage (or two, let’s be honest), and when I don’t want one and am simply partaking out of habit.

I’ve accepted that at 5pm pretty much every day… I will get “the urge”… but it’s mostly a reminder that it’s time to pause and take a breather. 

Now, for anyone who is reading this and having a lightbulb moment…

Maybe you’ve been sober curious as well…

I want to share a few reflection questions I often ask myself when it comes to alcohol. 

Feel free to simply think these through, or actually pull out your journal, and go on your own self-discovery journey around your relationship with alcohol.

1. Why and when do I choose to drink alcohol?
2. How does alcohol make me feel?
3. Could I benefit from less or no alcohol?
4. How would I rate my overall relationship with alcohol?

When it comes to living a happy and purposeful life…

Intentionality is key.

We cannot make changes on things we aren’t aware are happening. 

You may be like me, and feel that you don’t drink that much…

And therefore, it’s not a problem.

But truly…

If any habit… no matter how big or small… is affecting the overall quality of your life and well-being, you owe it to yourself to get curious about that!

For me thus far, this journey has led me to realize I am capable of allowing my awareness to guide me and feel more in control when it comes to drinking and my choices around alcohol…

Especially during summer!!! 

I know others who have decided to refrain completely, because they can’t just have one or two…

And all of that is OK!

That’s why it’s all a personal journey, and there is absolutely zero judgement here.

We’re all doing the best we can.

And the fact that you’ve read this far shows you care about your choices and well-being!

As Maya Angelou once said…

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

Awareness helps us do better! 

Wishing you the best on your own sober curious journey.

Believing in us, always.