Tag: perspective

Who Are You Becoming?

Laurel Valdez

A couple weeks ago…

I tuned in to listen to a sermon from one of the pastors at our church back in Houston.

Considering the times we’re living in… 

I was very curious to hear how they were addressing truly difficult topics.

Now, it was a wonderful sermon, and I’d be happy to share with anyone who wanted to hear it…

However, religion aside… 

The thing that stuck with me the most was the question Pastor Sean asked… 

Who are you becoming?

Times are heavy, there is no doubt.

Feelings, emotions, and opinions are at an all time high.

And ya know what… they’re valid.

The question however…

Is what are we doing with those feelings, emotions, and opinions?

What are you hoping to accomplish by the reactions you’re experiencing…

And the actions you’re taking?

Who are you becoming?

This question caused me to do quite a bit of self-reflection. 

A lot of which took me back to my core values and beliefs as a person… as a human. 

A human who fully believes we are here to connect with other humans…

And that our health and wellbeing depends on those connections!

It encouraged me to ask…

Is who I’m becoming allowing those core values and beliefs to be seen from the outside? 

The thing is…

From my lived experience…

I have never ever EVER regretted leading with kindness, listening to others, truly seeing and hearing people, or attempting to clear up misunderstandings or confusions.

I also want to point out…

Doing these things doesn’t necessarily mean we’re suddenly going to change our mind, beliefs, or perspectives… 

But it does show respect for others’ beliefs and perspectives…

For others’ lived experiences…

And this is huge, You Guys!

We don’t have to be best friends with everyone we meet, and we don’t have to agree with everything everyone says and does…

But man, would it be beautiful if we could allow space for real conversations…

And truly see each other as we all are… 

Perfectly, imperfect humans. 

I’ve been taking in many lived experiences these past couple weeks…

And some experiences and stories truly break my heart…

From all ends of the spectrum!

I just felt compelled to send out a reminder today… 

That kindness provides hope.

Apologies and forgivenss… they heal.

Respect changes lives.

Leading with love… 

It matters.

Please, don’t lose sight of that.

I’ll leave you with this…

“No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side of things.” ~ incrediblejoy.com

As heavy as your heart and soul may feel…

I encourage you to choose to dig deep within…

Recover your light…

And shine it bright.

Believing in us, always.

Prioritize Yourself!

Laurel Valdez

For nearly 12 years, I have focused the majority of my time and energy on my kids.

Sure, Dan and I will go on dinner dates from time to time, but unless a grandparent is visiting, we’re always home in time for bed…

Until August 30th.

As ridiculous as this sounds, that particular Saturday felt magical to me.

Heading downtown Chicago with friends…

Late at night…

To spend the evening letting loose and seeing The Lumineers.

Truly euphoric feels.

Music is my love language.

Since a young age, it has touched my heart and soul.

To be so fully immersed for the first time in years reminded me of who I am – mom aside.

So I’m curious…

When’s the last time you did something solely for you?

Something that allowed a magical wave of calm and joy to wash over you?

When’s the last time you prioritized your significant other? Went away with friends? Or did something without your kids?

Being a mom is such a beautiful privilege….

I love my kids deeply…

And…

In order to fill them with love and light, I have to be full of it myself.

My Friends, this concert fueled me up.

If you’ve been feeling down, bored, lonely, or just plain blah…

Think up what once brought you immense joy, and plan for that!

Put it on the calendar.

We plan for so much as parents, but we often forget to plan for ourselves.

It may be hard to imagine now…

But one day…

Our kids will be out and on their own.

And we’ll have to figure out life without them.

Start now!

Get curious, uncover your passions and desires, and prepare for your future!

We do it for our kids…

And we’d be wise to also do it for ourselves.

Believing in us, always.

Lessons in Perspective

Laurel Valdez

Yesterday, while at a good friend’s birthday party…

My middle little and I sat down with a couple other mamas and started chatting.

When moving back from Houston came up, one of the moms asked about how we liked it.

I talked about how it grew on me over the years… but was hot…tends to flood a lot.

My Eva… 

She went down memory lane!

“Remember in Houston we had a fenced in yard? It was huge!”

I always thought it to be quite small.

“And my brother and I, we used to have these pools… and we’d fill them so high they’d be up to my neck!”

They were clear plastic bins from the container store.

“And we’d play music, and blast it so loud!… and we’d throw water balloons as hard as we could along the fence, and they’d SPLASH EVERYWHERE!”

I honestly did that simply to buy some time as I’d clean up and get dinner ready.

While actively listening to my beautiful child… 

One of the mamas noted that E has a great memory… and really positive memories as well.

I found this entire moment beautiful and eye-opening on many levels.

For one, thinking back on those times… I was so tired.

Yes, there were many moments I enjoyed hearing happy giggles and took a second to smile at their joy and happiness… but very rarely did I pause to just sit, watch, and take it all in.

I also always felt the need to be going!… 

Taking the kiddos all over the place!… 

I often still do.

But as you can see, based on E’s retelling of her 3s and 4s… 

She wasn’t mentioning the multiple trips to the children’s museum or the zoo…

She was admiring our relatively tiny yard, clear plastic bins of water, music, and balloons.

THESE are the moments that stuck with her and make her smile today.

On the flip side, this wonderful mama!…

Actively listening and asking questions.

I didn’t realize it until that moment, but very rarely… 

Especially when other adults are around… AND our own kiddos… 

Do we stop to give other kids our full, undivided attention…

And allow them to be seen and heard.

Beautiful memories are one thing…

But as a 9 year old…

To share, and be seen and heard in the midst of a busy party…

Now THAT is something! 

And E’s reactive smile to this kind mama’s words was proof she agreed.

This beautiful encounter gave me two new focuses this week…

  1. I want to focus on the simple. The tiny, fleeting moments that provide true connection, belly laughs, and smiles.
  2. I want to continue focusing on these young kids. It’s more important today than ever before that they understand how to connect, communicate, and feel seen and heard.

The thing is… these two things are so basic… 

But they’re not easy.

Our busy lives make it incredibly hard to justify prioritizing connection and conversation.

But let’s be honest…

Those two things… ESPECIALLY when it comes to these beautiful young kiddos…

Are of utmost importance!

And truth be told…

The days may seem long…

But man, are these years short! 

Believing in us, always!